Surrender

She is still not extubated.

They had her down to only a little bit of morphine early today. But, as she continued to sleep like one more heavily drugged they stopped it all together to encourage her to wake up. She did so here and there and acted like our sweet little Zoe, but they were looking for a state of wakefulness that would have her really stuggling and fighting to get the tube out. Her state was more of one who was happy and relaxed, content to feel whatever was under her wiggling fingers and toes, not one who was irritated with her situation.

Perhaps our little ZEN girl is too Buddha-like in her temperament.

Now she dozes in the evening, leaving us to think that it may be yet another day before the little girls decides to truly join the waking world. She's forcing us to slow down to her schedule. Her little body is doing a fine job of healing her, so we have to trust that it knows what it's doing.

And, just to be clear--she really is doing great. Everyone assures us of that. Who knows? She may be extubated in the night. I will be sleeping here again this night in that event so that Mama can hold her immediately!

I'm doing better tonight--my dear friend Risa came to give me a Thai massage in small conference room here, and I was reminded that I do, in fact, have a body below this agitated head of mine.

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Incidentally, in case you didn't notice, there have been a couple of recent posts done by other people. Jeff wrote the last entry, and our friend Jon has been added as a contributer to the blog so that he can coordinate help for us (the "posted by" at the bottom of each entry indicates the author). So many of you have been so wonderful in asking how you can help, and now we finally are getting to a place where there will be direction in that. In case you missed his post, scroll back to the entry entitled "Lots of Helping Hands" to get the scoop.

Thank you, dears!